My blood thinner is rat poison how comforting

Good news that my blood clot has dissolved hurray. Bad news I still have to be on the blood thinners for six months and no more birth control for me. So here we go with migraine central. since I have to take blood thinners this postpones my transplant for six months :( lame. And I have to go to the hospital every week twice to get my blood taken. I'm definitely devastated about having to wait six months. Be on dialysis six months. Eating this crappy renal diet. Ugh. Please God catch me a break. I have been trying to keep it together and be positive in all this. I need this to try to live a normal life when things r in shambles. I feel through this whole process it's been a roller coaster of emotion. Any minute something could change. I do have to get a graft put in my arm. Another surgery ugh. But in the long run it will be better.

I'm definitely have had a hard time grasping all these things that keep being thrown my way. I get good news one moment and terrible the next. Just when im getting setteled bame I get knocked down. I'm not going to lie this has been the hardest thing I have ever endured. It's horrible but I keep needing to grow and learn from this experience. To be patient have faith and get through this time of hardship and come out of it with a stronger family and a stronger me! Life is what you make it. And I'm trying to make mine a party :)

Are trials and harships really burdens or blessings?

I am sitting in the hospital AGAIN writing this post. Wendsday I received a phone all from my nephrologist right as a was finished being hooked up to dialysis. I had been trying to reach him for about a week but with the holidays it just didn't work out. I have been having wierd chest pain for a couple weeks it has been a bit better but was still there. I wanted to follow up with the nephrologist so I was thinking when he called me it was one less doctor appointment I had to go to. Well he had a different agenda. He was calling to inform me that the hospital had misread my CT scan from my previous hospital stay for chest pain. The radiologist had randomly chosen my scan to retread for quality purposes. He then realized they had missed a potentially life threatening blood clot. A pulmonary embolism. I was in shock. I had been walking around with this for weeks. I am now hospitalized while we get my blood thinned out enough that the clot won't grow.

Now there are two ways I could look at this situation. One completely start feeling bad for myself and say why me I have such bad luck or two I can use the trials I go through to grow and learn from my experience and realize someone is watching out for me and it was a blessing that my scan was re read.

I have been through a lot these last few weeks. My body maybe weak but my spirit is strong and will get me through these trials. I have to remember I have to have faith and realize. I will grow from this and also inspire others to go on to push through the hard times and EXPERIENCE life don't fumble through. Take things that come into your life as a learning experience a chance to grow and improve yourself. I know I have learned patience which I didn't have before. Also have leanrned about Pure love for people that i may have had problems with before. Everyone is human everyone has weaknesses I know I do. We shouldn't let those weaknesses keep us from experiencing that relationship. Realize we all make mistakes and just learn you can only change yourself. You are the one that can take charge of your life a become a better person.